I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
