In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
