Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
