I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
