guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
