hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize