I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
