Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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