And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize