i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize