Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
