im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
