is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you never un-have a 4some
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
