If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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