If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
