guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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