she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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