At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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