how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize