i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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