I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
