He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
