last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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