in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
