After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
