You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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