Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That accounts for only three of the penises
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize