did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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