At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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