why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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