DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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