I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
