I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize