you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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