Heybabeimwearingurpanties
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
