I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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