i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
