Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
