What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
