What a fucking waste of an outfit
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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