i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize