Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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