i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
