And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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