he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
