apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
