I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
