the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize