So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
