508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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