What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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