Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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