if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
