well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
