"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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