I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
