i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
