He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
