so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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