Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize