tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
