He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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