There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
