Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
