Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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