theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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