11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
