tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
